(5 minute read)
For thousands of years, there has been connection between flowers and mourning rituals. They stand as a gentle, visual tribute to a life that brought meaning to those who knew them. Their beauty reflect the qualities treasured—kindness, strength, generosity, respect—and the small, everyday moments that would from now on become the most precious memories.
Flowers connect us back to nature, a reminder that all of creation is made of the same stuff, and of our return back to the earth, “from earth we came, and to earth we return”.
How beautiful it is, the things that flowers represent at the death of someone!
It was an honour to have said yes to create these particular flowers for the casket of a person recently passed. I did not know this one, not even their name. That doesn’t matter when you are a florist. Our privileged service is to act on behalf of the family, to create beauty which will honour and remember the person. Sometimes we get a little glimpse into the lives of the family and friends, other times, not.
They rang, last minute, requesting flowers for the casket of their deceased loved one who was “to be cremated today”, and asked, “did I have time?”, (they would need to pick these up in just under 2 hours). I moved my day’s schedule around, and said “yes”. I guided them through their wishes of colour and size and style - and cost. Baulking at the cost, they uttered, “they’re just, flowers for burning!”
“Flowers for burning”.
There’s no doubt that this comment set me off in a spin! The phrase being repeated over and over in my mind.
Politely, I uttered back a comment about the cost of living, the cost of funerals, and the cost of flowers, to gently diffuse the displeasure I was beginning to sense, and then I offered to create something smaller, but still beautiful if it would help with their budget. I do understand that life is expensive at the moment. I was happy to help make it work.
“Flowers for burning”.
A reaction of grief? The continued indignancy that came, the gruffness on pick up, no comment or appreciation, the attempt to offer me a cash deal to get the flowers cheaper - all a reaction of grief? I don’t know. I suppose so. I do know grief comes in many and often unexpected ways, causing people to act outside of their normal manner, and deflecting it to something else - like, say, the cost of flowers.
“Flowers for burning”.
After this phrase had made its rounds in my mind throughout that day, my musings settled on another perspective. A beautiful one. Another way of thinking. Perhaps this was my way to deal with any negativity caused that I refused to dwell on.
I love the alternate imagery of flowers for burning. I think of the movies I’ve seen depicting loved ones wrapped in mourning cloth surrounded by flowers to be set out to sea: a torched arrow shot to inflame the floating coffin. Or a loved one placed on a mound to be set alight with fire, surrounded by wildflowers and rosemary. A curated meadow leading up to the encased body, where the flames wind their way towards it, engulfing everything. A carefully chosen casket decorated with flowers as it enters the crematorium - as this request would be. There is beauty in death, there is a particular beauty in “flowers for burning” - setting our beloved deceased off on their after-life journey.
I do flowers for weddings, flowers for celebrations, flowers for birthdays, flowers for events, flowers to decorate. This day, it was “flowers for burning”.
I couldn’t think of anything more beautiful than being sent out with “flowers for burning”.
To the one these flowers were for, rest in peace. May the “flowers for burning”, send them well. And to the family, may they see beauty in the “flowers for burning” - a representative of a beautiful life lived.